I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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