I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Who died my cat blue again?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
