Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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