Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
