dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize