You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
