We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
