great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
