plz talk dirty to me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize