Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize