Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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