Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
