My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
