Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
