last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
