There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My feet surprised me
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