Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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