your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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