And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize