I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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