It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
