I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
