if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
