Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
