I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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