hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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