Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
