Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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