Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We need to get me chipped asap
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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