new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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