threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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