that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
