if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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