I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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