Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
