i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
