Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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