I wish I only lived at night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
