Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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