i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
