I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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