i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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