and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
