Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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