just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize