i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
