How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
