i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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