Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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