why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize