I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
