Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
