It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
