he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize