I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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