Please, let me fuck your mom
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
