i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
